The Leftover Pizza

Daily life Pizzazz, some nuggets, some fun

Archive for the month “August, 2011”

Where’s all the fluff?

So people have been wondering about how things are so serious over at the Pizzeria. Where’s all the fluff?

Well some of it is in this cotton ball

Some have┬ábeen chasing each other so haven’t been around

Some others have been hiding away after a makeover

And finally some we caught hold of

So the fluff is back.

Letting go of the story

They say everyone has a story about themselves and of the world they inhabit. For some of us the world is a curiosity and we are forever marveling. For some its a dangerous place and we are forever scared. For some others its a chaotic place and we are forever trying to make sense.

But we also have stories about ourselves. We define ourselves by these. We may think we are victims treated unfairly. We may think we are too clever for everyone else. We may think we are weak. We may think we fall short of expectations of others. We may even think we are responsible for all the bad things around or that if only we could change things somehow.

All of these beliefs, these stories, keep us awake at night, worrying about how what we said or did under the influence of these stories affected the rest of our lives. Every once in a while, we come across someone who would challenge us and make us look at how we tell these stories about ourselves and hurt others and ourselves. This person could be a rival but most of the times is a loved one. We then step into the eternal dance of blaming ourselves, our habits, parents, God even to confirm how our stories are true. We love our stories so much that we don’t give them up even in the face of evidence. Some of these stories are passed on to us, some we develop over time.

But the thing I have realised now is these stories play out only if we believe them. Someone may accuse us or imply something about us, that hurts us only when we believe it in some part. We needn’t even have done such a thing, sometimes our own goodness or habit of giving things a benefit of doubt may make us think that’s what others thought of us. I have seen brilliant and compassionate people think that they were not doing the best they could. Probably they bought into someone else’s story about them. The key is not believe these stories. Maybe the person who said that was just momentarily upset. Maybe that person was projecting their flaws on you.

What also hurts is when your story affected someone you cared about. Its tough to forgive yourself for hurting someone. Yes, you learn for sure this time that your story about yourself was utter rubbish, but is it worth it if it comes at someone else’s cost? You cannot change what happened, you can only apologise, but you may not get restitution. Time to throw the story away totally. No story is worth hurting anyone.

You just got a magic wand. What would you do with it?

Ok this post is not my idea. It is a prompt that WordPress came up with, the moment I finished posting the previous one. I like the fact that there are these prompts. Its too cool. I chose this one because I am in the mood of some good old fashioned childish fun. So what would I do?

1. I would grow a wee bit taller lol.

2. I would do some interior decoration of my pad.

3. I would make the garden at my parents place always full of flowers.

4. I would give some sort of immunity to my family from diseases.

5. I would make some chemical change in my family and my brains so that we stayed happy no matter what.

6. I would get a magic carpet and travel the world.

7. I would get tickets for a Broadway show.

8. I would make my singing voice better.

9. I would get a great wardrobe and a house with white walls, steel and wood furniture, done up to the T in Mumbai and yes, it has to be spacious and sea facing ­čÖé

10. Anything else that might strike my fancy from time to time.

So what’s your list?

Choosing you

Been going through some of Natalie’s old posts at Baggage Reclaim and came over this one about overcoming the past.┬á

Sometimes when things go wrong, the first instinct is to blame if not anyone else, then atleast yourself. You sort of say if only I had done this or said that things would have been different. You go over and over the tape, but what you fail to recognise is that probably there was something wrong even before you did or said something.

People are going to be people. They might say or do things that you never expected. You might say or do things you never expected. But so what? Are you going to keep on blaming yourself for not knowing? No one can predict things, so it is all ok.

What I realised is that I had this tendency of not forgiving myself. Anything  I did was a huge mistake according to me. Oh no, I did this, I said that. Oh no, now I am never going to be forgiven. Oh no, how could I be so stupid. But the fact is, even if you are and if you have realised and shown remorse or taken some corrective measures, that is all you can do. The ball is no more in your court once you have done everything you could try. Then its about the situation and how it plays out. And however it plays out is not a measure of your character. Its not about you.

Limitations

Its your own mind that puts limits on you, your own feelings of insecurity or otherwise. Its you and no one else. I have been meeting people who have been showing me how much everything is dependent on what you think of it. At some level you could say I am old enough, I should really act my age. And yet I know a lot of times I don’t, atleast not in the area of responsibility or understanding. At the same time for other things, simple things like having fun, doing something unique, I suddenly start thinking I am old, I have missed the bus. Yet, I keep seeing that there are people all around who have done things long past the so called ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal’ age or even life circumstances. So what makes them do it and why don’t I? They say its all in the mind and that’s right. Fear, sadness, love, hate its all inside you. You create your own reality by thinking about it. You make it happen even if it wasn’t going that way. Its overwhelming the first time around when you realise how much your own thinking affects you and those around you. It makes you feel even more scared. Its a huge responsibility that you have to create your own life. But know what, they say you are never given something you can’t handle.

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