There’s a friend of mine, married for close to 10 years, who tells the most entertaining stories of her fights with her husband. What is entertaining about the whole conversation is that she laughs at the absurdity of the whole fight. Sample this :
Being the girls we are, we were on one of those trips of ‘these men na.’ Any girlfriend/wife worth her salt will have atleast one story of how she found certain things about her boyfriend/husband only after a full commitment or living together. So her husband is a baldie, which she of course knew, but what she found out in the first week of their marriage was that his two front teeth were false! They had been knocked off during his playground days. She recalled between peels of laughter how she ended up calling her father in law jokingly asking him for the husband’s birth certificate. No hair, no teeth, will he now end up saying he is 60, she had asked. She had dated him for almost 3 years before marrying him and the love has survived.
My mother when she was married was told dad had a transferable job. Mother, who had never set foot out of her home state in South India, did not want to stay far away in Naarth India forever. So a transferable government job seemed like an ok option. Till I was about 15, I remember mom bringing up sometimes jokingly, sometimes in a fit of disappointment, during my parents numerous fights, the point that dad had hidden the fact that his job was with the state government and hence non transferable (actually dad’s family had hidden this, dad had no clue of the promises made). She would sometimes affectionately joke about how had she known she would have never married him (now how many wives have made this statement since Eve?)
And then I was talking to another guy friend this morning as part of research (won’t hilarious instances of silly marriage fights make a good book?). I was asking him how they solved their fights. Sometimes he said the silences would go on, the maximum it went on was a week and his wife was the one who would just not talk. So who breaks the ice, I asked. And he says, well, sometimes I get some favourite thing of hers home, sometimes she cooks something for me and the reconciliation is slow and steady. So by the time we are fully reconciled, we don’t remember who made the first move, he concluded. Aah to reach that kind of zen feeling.
Then there is the sleeping on the couch fallout, made famous by various American sit-coms. The Indian version of it, says my colleague, is when the wife doesn’t cook food and he is forced to go hungry. The show where I loved the way conflicts were handled (yes I know it is fiction, not real life) was Home Improvement. Just loved the way the couple would use the neighbour as a sounding board but eventually come to their own conclusions based on their love for each other.
However this is one couple (I vote for gay marriage) whose fights have entertained us always :
I have always been curious about why people behave the way they do, including yours truly. So help me people with funny/not so funny stories of your fights with your significant other, I gotta book to write 😀